Transitioning between visiting and the normal day-to-day LDR

When you visit your partner, or they visit you, you will be moving from one extreme to another. You will be going from a time packed with sight-seeing, traveling, romantic dinners, romantic movie nights, meeting friends, meeting family, in fact spending several consecutive days together, entirely together. After being apart for so long, everything is sentimental, special, close, and romantic. You may even have to spend the first two days getting used to each other again. And when the time comes to say goodbye, you won’t be ready and the vacation will have seemed far too short. Then, all of a sudden, you are having to get used to communicating at set times through phone calls and Skype after having spent all day and every day with them.

Here are some tips to help make the transition a little smoother:

• Try and ease into the distance by communicating a little more than you did before the vacation. It will help make the sudden separation seem less severe.

• Bridge the gap between the times that you see one another with talking about the vacation that has passed and planning the next one to come. Distance is a lot easier when there’s an end in sight.

• It’s also good to start planning an end to the distance.

• Look through photos of your vacation together, reminisce about your highlights, and what you found particularly fun or surprising.

• Tell your partner how much you wish they were with you. It helps in this time to be particularly intimate and affectionate in your words.

• Also try and maintain the intimacy that you two gained when together until you see each other again, so that the next time you visit you’re building from where you left off, not starting all over again.


Things one can do to feel closer

The main problem with a long distance relationship is the distance. While there are many issues that come with this, the most pressing is the simple fact that you and your partner are very, very far away from one another, and the simplest, yet strongest, wish that you two share is to be together.

It hasn’t anything to do with the intricacies of communication difficulties; it’s merely the desire to physically be in the same place. There are some things you can do to ease the longing and feel more physically connected in each other’s lives.

A good way is to send visual information of things which are happening in your everyday life. Send photos via Whatsapp of your meals and when you cook or buy something really tasty. Send photos of your shopping; ask your partner’s opinion. Send pictures if you buy new furniture or put a poster up in your room. It’s a small thing, but it makes a tremendous difference to witness these details in each other’s lives.

Another way to feel closer is to start and end your days together. A quick good morning and good night call or Skype feels really good.

Also be aware of your messages. Use full sentences; if you’re able to send a message, you’re able to send a good one. If you have different languages, it may be easier each to speak in your own languages and it’s good practice to read their language.

Another way to feel closer and learn more about one another is to play questions games on Skype (see posts “Ways to liven up your Skype conversations” and “Date Night Ideas“).