LDRs

Things to Discuss Before Committing to a Long Distance Relationship

It’s really no secret that being in a long distance relationship is no easy task and you would only consider entering into one if your prospective partner were monumentally important to you. You don’t, therefore, want to end a relationship over something trivial. Not physically being with the person with whom you’re in a relationship puts tremendous strain on communication. Everyone is different, has different habits and expectations, and you’re having to negotiate these differences over a distance.

Before committing to an LDR, it’s important to clearly define the status and perimeters of your relationship. You don’t want to be hurt along the way because one of you thought it was open and the other thought it was exclusive. It would also be wise to speak about when you two plan on closing the distance. It’s good to have that goal to work towards.

Another important thing to discuss is what you expect on a day to day basis. Your expectations and ability to fulfil those expectations may be very different depending on time differences, whether you’re at school, university, or are working. Ask each other what you expect in terms of Whatsapp messages, Skype and phone calls – how frequently? how long?, and Facebook – what are your opinions of sharing things about your relationship?

It’s also good to have the unpleasant conversations earlier rather than later and avoid nasty surprises. For example, some people keep photos and messages from ex-partners, whereas others erase everything, some people have many friends of the opposite sex and you may or may not be comfortable with that, or some have grown accustomed to a socially or professionally demanding schedule and now need to make space in their lives for a relationship.

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