Issues which may arise when visiting one another

While you may speak with your partner often with instant messages, phone calls, and Skype, and may know them very well – their likes, dislikes, fears, hopes – it’s an entirely different situation when you two are physically together. You will most probably find your conversations to be wonderfully efficient and flowing with limitless ease, but it’s the simplest actions and miniscule details where you may have problems. It’s because they appear to be so negligible, that you tend to dismiss them when you’re the perpetrator, but feel terribly slighted when you’re the victim.

An issue may arise if, for instance, you’re sitting together and one of you decides to leave the room without any explanation to the other. You may just be going to do a small errand which has just occurred to you or to make a cup of tea, but the one who’s left sitting in the room will be thinking, “uh, did I do something wrong?” Another is example may be if you are out together and something bothers one of you – the table is wobbling, a baby is crying incessantly in the corner, the club is too smoky. This happened to my partner and I, but instead of letting a trivial circumstance ruin our evening, I decided to just be alright with it, but I didn’t communicate this to my partner and he was confused as to why one minute I was grumpy and then next, happy.

Because you are apart for the majority of your relationship, you’re not used to sharing all the processes of your mind. Naturally you won’t have to tell each other everything when you’ve been living together for a while, you’ll get used to picking up on each other’s subtle hints, moods, and body language, but in the mean time, share what you’re thinking. You don’t want to waste your limited time together squabbling over silly things.


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